BAD BARD POETRY
Whale Watching
A Whale swam up upon the beach
And called over to talk to me
So I lifted my hat and we had a brief chat
And I invited him home for tea.
We were getting on well, far as I could tell
But he said he’d have to decline
Then I could see there was more to this,
He had something else on his mind
With a bashful cough, he got to the point
And asked if I’d kindly do him a favour
“Why yes” I replied “ I’d do anything
Within my power and labour.
He said “Well, I accidentally swallowed a boat
While I was grabbing a snack,
And now the darn things got stuck
Down in my alimentary tract.
Now you have hands, and I have none
And with those you could remove it”
I said “Hey Ho, I’ll give it ago
It will be fun let’s do it”
So he yawned saying ‘Ahhh’
And revealed a small car lodged in either cheek
He said” I save those, to chew in repose
On Sundays and during the week”
I said” That’s OK” as I forged my way
Past tangled fishing nets and mountains of plastic
Till I came upon a submarine
Stuck fast, in jelly and aspic
So I gave it a shove, and heard a grunt from above
As it shot back out of his jaws
He shouted “Good grief” and “What a relief”
Clapping his flippers in a round of applause
I said “Happy to help” as he heaped me with kelp
Expressing his thanks and relief
But it was my turn to decline
And hurry him back to the brine
For our time, needs must was brief
So I waved him goodbye under an azure sky
With best wishes and heartfelt intentions
He said “That’s kind, It’s been a whale of a time
But I’m sensing worry and apprehension?”
I said “Yes please be careful next time
And if you happen to find
Yourself in similar situation
Don’t hesitate, just head for the beach
And I’ll be waiting in anticipation.