I loved him

I honour his spirit

I forever wish him well

Even as a child I wanted to protect him

Because I knew he was a man of great heart

Yet even as a child

I knew he trod a path that had no heart 

 

I felt his anguish, even as a child

I knew this giant, gentle man

Was trapped in the faith of his Father

Clinging to emptiness.

Even as a child I wanted to save him

As I grew I yearned for him to break free.

I sought his understanding, but there was none

He retreated behind his defences

We fought over it

There was not to be any parley

There was none, we were empty.

 

When he died, he died hard

I knew it was his time

I held his hand, again I couldn’t save him

He was  struggling, in mute desperation

He was struggling, I whispered in his ear

'It’s time to let go, It’s time to let go'

I searched into his eyes, and he left us

 

I wanted to be with him

I always wanted to be with him

Now I could never be with him

He’d finally gone, to seek his redeemer

To search for his saviour….

 

As life and death move on I think of him

I celebrate his love, though what is love?

We assume we know, we readily profess it.

Father and son no more loved, than he and me

 

But, too often love is merely a word

A useless outburst, from empty men

For love cannot penetrate

Nor mediate with blind religion.

 

        Epilogue

Stale words and ideas infect minds and stoke fears

Yet as children we don’t get lairy

When our faith is shattered in the tooth fairy

Nor when hoodwinked and confronted

Feel  threatened or affronted

Discovering the truth behind the mystery

Of the Father Christmas conspiracy.

Shown the ruse we join the club

And henceforth, therein lies the rub

For innocent trust learns of betrayal

That  blind faith can turn, bite and fail.

Unlike the trust in the pilot of a plane

Or a surgeon about to fix our pain,

Our faith is easily led astray

And generations lose their way.

Ever to harbour the questioning thought

Matters may not be, what we’re told they ought

And when we invest unquestioning trust

Our illusions may be turned to dust

For there will always and ever be 

The highest and likeliest possibility

We become trapped in ignorance and stupidity